Dear Family and Friends,
There really are no words to describe this week. It was not a week I would want to repeat again. Sometimes it feels like when I finally start to make some good progress things fall apart. I don't understand why, so I guess I'll just keep walking forward and hope things will be better. This verse I wanted to talk about really is for me, because there are definitely some days this week I am not sure how much I believed this verse. "O how great the goodness of our God, who prepareth a way for our escape from the grasp of this awful monster; yea, that monster, death and hell, which I call the death of the body, and also the death of the spirit." (2 Nephi 9). I would definitely describe this trial I've been going through the last few months as "Hell" and "death of the body and spirit". Not quite literal death, but there have been some dark days these past few months that felt like they would kill me emotionally. Days were I have felt pretty hopeless and like there wasn't much happiness to be found.
Somewhere in my heart, and especially my spirit, I know that there are better things to come, but I've also never felt quite this tried before. " O how great the goodness of our God, who prepareth a way for our escape from the grasp of this awful monster!" I've always believed in the Goodness of God, he has provided "escape" from all of the other trials I have been through, and I know this will be no different. I wish I could see with his eyes why this is necessary, but for now it is enough to know there IS escape. I know, because I know God doesn't change, that he really does provide a way for us to overcome everything. Christ went below all, which means that even this time of overwhelming discouragement and feelings inadequacy isn't lower than what Christ can lift me from. I know that this trial will one day help me to reach out to others who are struggling, just like the trials of others have helped them to reach out to me. I know for all of us we are required to walk through hard times, my hope is that we all (especially myself right now), don't forget that God has prepared escape and hope for every valley and hell we may encounter.