Dear Family and Friends,
Well the days keep coming bringing with them Finals and all the stress that comes with those. I'm amazed the semester is on it's final days, and quite relieved to see this particularly challenging semester end. I've learned so much these past few months, far more then I would have asked for. I'm grateful for the empathy these experiences have and will give me, but I'm still not sure I wanted them, particularly at the price they came. I understand that someday these experiences will bless me to be able to lift and relate to others. However, on the days I still cry for how painful this semester has been, I'm not sure how much I really want to be able to help others. Maybe because this has been a more stressful tear filled week is the reason this verse hit home.
Wherefore, brethren, seek not to counsel the Lord, but to take counsel from his hand. For behold, ye yourselves know that he counseleth in wisdom, and in justice, and in great mercy, over all his works." Jacob 4:10
On hard days I am guilty of crying to Heaven "Is this worth it? Did I really have to go through this valley of tears? When will it end, and the past hurt me no more?" I know we all have days we cry out, feeling lost and discouraged, because the path we are on is not what we wanted. We cry because the lessons we are learning come at a high price. Sometimes, even though we don't see it from the depth of the valley of tears, these paths really are required to get us to higher places. There is a reason Jacob tells us to "Seek not to counsel the Lord, but to take counsel from his hand." Our Heavenly Father sees the whole picture when all we might be able to see is a few steps in front of us, and maybe not even that. We don't know what lies around the next bend, what might have happened if he hadn't taken us away from what we though was "good" to better paths.
This verse from Jacob really does summarize most of the prayers and blessings I've said and been given this semester. God really does know what he is doing, I can feel that by the spirit. However, being mortal there are days when it is hard to not want to tell God that this seems like it is too much. However looking into my own past experiences during my short 22 years on this earth I can testify with Jacob that "he counseleth in wisdom, and in justice, and in great mercy, over all his works." I know when this challenging chapter ends I will see the great wisdom in why this path had to be walked. My hope is that each of you that are struggling with something will to be able to find strength and trust in God's council. I know that if we all hold on and keep going through the hard days, as well as the good, we will be able to testify of the goodness of God and in his great mercy and wisdom!
Love to you all,