Dear Family and Friends,
There really are no words to describe this week. It was not a week I would want to repeat again. Sometimes it feels like when I finally start to make some good progress things fall apart. I don't understand why, so I guess I'll just keep walking forward and hope things will be better. This verse I wanted to talk about really is for me, because there are definitely some days this week I am not sure how much I believed this verse. "O how great the goodness of our God, who prepareth a way for our escape from the grasp of this awful monster; yea, that monster, death and hell, which I call the death of the body, and also the death of the spirit." (2 Nephi 9). I would definitely describe this trial I've been going through the last few months as "Hell" and "death of the body and spirit". Not quite literal death, but there have been some dark days these past few months that felt like they would kill me emotionally. Days were I have felt pretty hopeless and like there wasn't much happiness to be found.
Somewhere in my heart, and especially my spirit, I know that there are better things to come, but I've also never felt quite this tried before. " O how great the goodness of our God, who prepareth a way for our escape from the grasp of this awful monster!" I've always believed in the Goodness of God, he has provided "escape" from all of the other trials I have been through, and I know this will be no different. I wish I could see with his eyes why this is necessary, but for now it is enough to know there IS escape. I know, because I know God doesn't change, that he really does provide a way for us to overcome everything. Christ went below all, which means that even this time of overwhelming discouragement and feelings inadequacy isn't lower than what Christ can lift me from. I know that this trial will one day help me to reach out to others who are struggling, just like the trials of others have helped them to reach out to me. I know for all of us we are required to walk through hard times, my hope is that we all (especially myself right now), don't forget that God has prepared escape and hope for every valley and hell we may encounter.
Yours,
Katelyn
Monday, March 13, 2017
Monday, March 6, 2017
Lift Up Thy Head and Rejoice!
Dear Family and Friends,
This week was really quite good, not in a totally overwhelming temporary way, but in a calm pervasive way. I really didn't recognize how different of a week it had been until I looked back at my journal for the week and realized how many good days there were. It makes me so grateful for the atonement that has carried me thus far. It also makes me grateful for the tender mercies along the way that help me keep going. There in an incredibly fitting verse from Alma, shown to me by a high school friend put it in her weekly mission letter home. When I read it I felt like she wrote it for me, so thanks Sister Derbidge!
Alma 8: 14-15 " And it came to pass that while he was journeying thither, being weighed down with sorrow, wading through much tribulation and anguish of soul... it came to pass while Alma was thus weighed down with sorrow, behold an angel of the Lord appeared unto him, saying:" " Blessed art thou, Alma; therefore, lift up thy head and rejoice, for thou hast great cause to rejoice; for thou hast been faithful in keeping the commandments of God from the time which thou receivedst thy first message from him..."
Reading these verses was exactly the words I needed to hear as a reminder to lift up my head and rejoice in all the miracles and blessings around me! I have tried my hardest to be faithful and obedient, even though sometimes that has been difficult in times of anguish. There has been a lot of "wading through much tribulation and anguish of soul" this semester, and it was so fitting that this verse would be shown me during a week that I have really felt from Heaven and through the voices of angels on earth how it is time to "lift up [my] head and rejoice." There really is so much to be grateful for. I am on a good path, and my discipleship is settled. Sometimes the path of discipleship has challenges that cause us to be weighed down with sorrow, but when we are following path God has shown for us individually to follow there is always reason to rejoice! My hope is that those of you reading this, no matter what you are going though, can find a reason this week to also life up your head and rejoice! God is good, even when life doesn't feel very good. I know there are some wonderful things coming, sometimes it just takes a little more time than we expect it to take, so that it may come in God's time and way.
Katelyn
This week was really quite good, not in a totally overwhelming temporary way, but in a calm pervasive way. I really didn't recognize how different of a week it had been until I looked back at my journal for the week and realized how many good days there were. It makes me so grateful for the atonement that has carried me thus far. It also makes me grateful for the tender mercies along the way that help me keep going. There in an incredibly fitting verse from Alma, shown to me by a high school friend put it in her weekly mission letter home. When I read it I felt like she wrote it for me, so thanks Sister Derbidge!
Alma 8: 14-15 " And it came to pass that while he was journeying thither, being weighed down with sorrow, wading through much tribulation and anguish of soul... it came to pass while Alma was thus weighed down with sorrow, behold an angel of the Lord appeared unto him, saying:" " Blessed art thou, Alma; therefore, lift up thy head and rejoice, for thou hast great cause to rejoice; for thou hast been faithful in keeping the commandments of God from the time which thou receivedst thy first message from him..."
Reading these verses was exactly the words I needed to hear as a reminder to lift up my head and rejoice in all the miracles and blessings around me! I have tried my hardest to be faithful and obedient, even though sometimes that has been difficult in times of anguish. There has been a lot of "wading through much tribulation and anguish of soul" this semester, and it was so fitting that this verse would be shown me during a week that I have really felt from Heaven and through the voices of angels on earth how it is time to "lift up [my] head and rejoice." There really is so much to be grateful for. I am on a good path, and my discipleship is settled. Sometimes the path of discipleship has challenges that cause us to be weighed down with sorrow, but when we are following path God has shown for us individually to follow there is always reason to rejoice! My hope is that those of you reading this, no matter what you are going though, can find a reason this week to also life up your head and rejoice! God is good, even when life doesn't feel very good. I know there are some wonderful things coming, sometimes it just takes a little more time than we expect it to take, so that it may come in God's time and way.
Katelyn
Monday, February 27, 2017
Waiting
Dear Family and Friends,
This week had some of the best days I've experienced in a while. Sometimes healing is so slow we don't really appreciate how far we have come. Sometimes part of healing includes having really good days; but it's okay to also have days where we feel a little blue and worn out from trying so hard. I also don't think we realize how much on both the good and hard days we are carried by the Savior.
My studies yet again found me connecting to Lehi and his family. After years of travel Lehi and his family finally received the promised land to live in. In this new land Lehi shares, "And behold, it is wisdom that this land should be kept as yet from the knowledge of other nations; for behold, many nations would overrun the land, that there would be no place for an inheritance." (2 Nephi 1:8) For me this reminded me of the wisdom of the Lord showing us things in his time and way. He really does have wonderful things in store for us, but sometimes we don't get to know how amazing they are until we get there. I felt like this particularly applies to dating and marriage. We date someone, learn to care, and then feel sad when it ends, wondering a little bit if they really saw how much of a wonderful person you really were. What I realized is maybe they don't truly see us for our full potential and the whole person we really are because they aren't meant to see. The person we do marry will be someone who does see us for who we are more than any other on this earth.
Part of being on this mortal journey is not knowing why, or what lies at the end of each road. Sometimes we, or others that love us, may receive impressions of what might be down a path, but ultimately only God know. Sometimes God holds things back to test our patience; but I have come to realize that sometimes God doesn't show us things because he is keeping them pure and whole until it is time for them to be received. I believe the law of Chastity falls into this category as well. We are commanded to wait until marriage to be sexually intimate, in part because that special unity allows spouses to see and know their companion in a whole and complete way that no others see or know them. To connect both body and soul on the most intimate and profound level. It is Gods wisdom that leads to the command to wait to share that connection until with marriage, so that "the land is not overrun." We may feel some days we will be waiting forever, but when the time comes and God's will shows us what was prepared for us, all of us will find ourselves humbled and grateful we did indeed wait for the Lords time.
Katelyn
This week had some of the best days I've experienced in a while. Sometimes healing is so slow we don't really appreciate how far we have come. Sometimes part of healing includes having really good days; but it's okay to also have days where we feel a little blue and worn out from trying so hard. I also don't think we realize how much on both the good and hard days we are carried by the Savior.
My studies yet again found me connecting to Lehi and his family. After years of travel Lehi and his family finally received the promised land to live in. In this new land Lehi shares, "And behold, it is wisdom that this land should be kept as yet from the knowledge of other nations; for behold, many nations would overrun the land, that there would be no place for an inheritance." (2 Nephi 1:8) For me this reminded me of the wisdom of the Lord showing us things in his time and way. He really does have wonderful things in store for us, but sometimes we don't get to know how amazing they are until we get there. I felt like this particularly applies to dating and marriage. We date someone, learn to care, and then feel sad when it ends, wondering a little bit if they really saw how much of a wonderful person you really were. What I realized is maybe they don't truly see us for our full potential and the whole person we really are because they aren't meant to see. The person we do marry will be someone who does see us for who we are more than any other on this earth.
Part of being on this mortal journey is not knowing why, or what lies at the end of each road. Sometimes we, or others that love us, may receive impressions of what might be down a path, but ultimately only God know. Sometimes God holds things back to test our patience; but I have come to realize that sometimes God doesn't show us things because he is keeping them pure and whole until it is time for them to be received. I believe the law of Chastity falls into this category as well. We are commanded to wait until marriage to be sexually intimate, in part because that special unity allows spouses to see and know their companion in a whole and complete way that no others see or know them. To connect both body and soul on the most intimate and profound level. It is Gods wisdom that leads to the command to wait to share that connection until with marriage, so that "the land is not overrun." We may feel some days we will be waiting forever, but when the time comes and God's will shows us what was prepared for us, all of us will find ourselves humbled and grateful we did indeed wait for the Lords time.
Katelyn
Monday, February 20, 2017
Of Stubbornness and Faith
Dear Family and Friends,
At the end of the week looking back I am glad for where I now stand. That said I most definatly would not want to go through this week again. I think it would have been a lot better if I hadn't had such a pessimistic attitude about it before it even started, but that it just another thing I learned from the week. Sometimes I don't realize how stubborn I am being until it feels like I run into my own stubbornness like it were a brick wall. I know I must have been carried through this week and yet another turning point by the savior, but I think it's still so recent I don't entirely realized exactly how much he really did carry me. I am much like a small child being carried through with my arms tight around his neck and my eyes scrunched tight because what surrounds me feels like it will overpower me and destroy me. Yet here I stand, a little better, and a little safer, because of the care and love of my Savior. I know more than anything else right now I really have no idea how much I am being carried because it's all I can do to hang on at moments.
My insight and parallel to my life this week again comes from the story of Lehi and Nephi. 1 Nephi 18:4 "And it came to pass that after I had finished the ship, according to the word of the Lord, my brethren beheld that it was good, and that the workmanship thereof was exceedingly fine; wherefore, they did humble themselves again before the Lord." The thing that I noted from this verse was the fact that Nephi's brother's didn't humble themselves before God until AFTER the ship was finished, and they saw that it was good. I realized that in my own life I've been doing that a little bit. I can see God is guiding me to build a boat to take me to better places. Yet even though I can see it, I haven't entirely wanted to break my pride down, be humble, and accept God really does know what he is doing and that it is "Good". I know I am not the only one that has done this in times of great trial. My hope is that we can all learn to be a little better at being humble and accepting the Good in God's plan as he teaches us how to build "boats", or bridges, or anything that helps us get to a very different place. I hope we can accept his wisdom sooner in the process rather than waiting until the boat is done to see that God really does know what he is doing!
I hope you all have a wonderful week, and I'll talk to you again soon!
Katelyn
At the end of the week looking back I am glad for where I now stand. That said I most definatly would not want to go through this week again. I think it would have been a lot better if I hadn't had such a pessimistic attitude about it before it even started, but that it just another thing I learned from the week. Sometimes I don't realize how stubborn I am being until it feels like I run into my own stubbornness like it were a brick wall. I know I must have been carried through this week and yet another turning point by the savior, but I think it's still so recent I don't entirely realized exactly how much he really did carry me. I am much like a small child being carried through with my arms tight around his neck and my eyes scrunched tight because what surrounds me feels like it will overpower me and destroy me. Yet here I stand, a little better, and a little safer, because of the care and love of my Savior. I know more than anything else right now I really have no idea how much I am being carried because it's all I can do to hang on at moments.
My insight and parallel to my life this week again comes from the story of Lehi and Nephi. 1 Nephi 18:4 "And it came to pass that after I had finished the ship, according to the word of the Lord, my brethren beheld that it was good, and that the workmanship thereof was exceedingly fine; wherefore, they did humble themselves again before the Lord." The thing that I noted from this verse was the fact that Nephi's brother's didn't humble themselves before God until AFTER the ship was finished, and they saw that it was good. I realized that in my own life I've been doing that a little bit. I can see God is guiding me to build a boat to take me to better places. Yet even though I can see it, I haven't entirely wanted to break my pride down, be humble, and accept God really does know what he is doing and that it is "Good". I know I am not the only one that has done this in times of great trial. My hope is that we can all learn to be a little better at being humble and accepting the Good in God's plan as he teaches us how to build "boats", or bridges, or anything that helps us get to a very different place. I hope we can accept his wisdom sooner in the process rather than waiting until the boat is done to see that God really does know what he is doing!
I hope you all have a wonderful week, and I'll talk to you again soon!
Katelyn
Monday, February 13, 2017
What is Happiness?
Dear Family and Friends,
The days march on and here it is, the start of another week! I hope you all had a great week, mine was pretty good. There were a lot of little things to be grateful for. I've been working on being more social, and as such have been doing more with my YSA ward. I really do have some pretty sweet people around me, and I'm glad I finally am getting to know them! (Being social for me can sometimes be a real challenge, so this has been quite an accomplishment.)
As I was reading 1 Nephi 17 I came across a verse that really struck me. Part of why it really stood out is that I remembered it standing out to me while I was on my mission, going through some similar experiences and feelings. Griping and complaining on to Nephi, his brother says in verse 21, " Behold, these many years we have suffered in the wilderness, which time we might have enjoyed our possessions and the land of our inheritance; yea, and we might have been happy." After 8 years of being in the wilderness his brothers were still lamenting over having left Jerusalem rather than seeing the miracles and joy that they had experienced. They were so focused on what they were missing out on in Jerusalem they couldn't accept that what lay before them in the promised land could be more happiness and joy than they would have ever had in Jerusalem.
Sometimes my own personal "Jerusalem" calls to me, telling me of what I am missing out on, and how happy I could have been if I hadn't had to leave. But I know I need to keep my eyes focused forward and truly believe the Lords promises to bless me with something better. One of Satan's greatest tactics is to tell a truth, but in a way that isn't all the way true. Nephi's brother's statement that if they had stayed they would have been happy might have been true, but it cleverly hides the reality that happiness can be found in many different places. Sometimes happiness comes in a different flavor than we were expecting because life and plans change, but that doesn't make it any less real or valuable. The real question is how do we choose to see it? What is happiness to us? The Lord loves us and does things for our ultimate good, today's wilderness may lead to tomorrow's promised land with sweeping vistas and majestic mountains to feel our soul with joy! May we all keep walking on through the hard days, seek the little bits of sunshine that are there, and know that the Lord's promises include happiness!
Katelyn
The days march on and here it is, the start of another week! I hope you all had a great week, mine was pretty good. There were a lot of little things to be grateful for. I've been working on being more social, and as such have been doing more with my YSA ward. I really do have some pretty sweet people around me, and I'm glad I finally am getting to know them! (Being social for me can sometimes be a real challenge, so this has been quite an accomplishment.)
As I was reading 1 Nephi 17 I came across a verse that really struck me. Part of why it really stood out is that I remembered it standing out to me while I was on my mission, going through some similar experiences and feelings. Griping and complaining on to Nephi, his brother says in verse 21, " Behold, these many years we have suffered in the wilderness, which time we might have enjoyed our possessions and the land of our inheritance; yea, and we might have been happy." After 8 years of being in the wilderness his brothers were still lamenting over having left Jerusalem rather than seeing the miracles and joy that they had experienced. They were so focused on what they were missing out on in Jerusalem they couldn't accept that what lay before them in the promised land could be more happiness and joy than they would have ever had in Jerusalem.
Sometimes my own personal "Jerusalem" calls to me, telling me of what I am missing out on, and how happy I could have been if I hadn't had to leave. But I know I need to keep my eyes focused forward and truly believe the Lords promises to bless me with something better. One of Satan's greatest tactics is to tell a truth, but in a way that isn't all the way true. Nephi's brother's statement that if they had stayed they would have been happy might have been true, but it cleverly hides the reality that happiness can be found in many different places. Sometimes happiness comes in a different flavor than we were expecting because life and plans change, but that doesn't make it any less real or valuable. The real question is how do we choose to see it? What is happiness to us? The Lord loves us and does things for our ultimate good, today's wilderness may lead to tomorrow's promised land with sweeping vistas and majestic mountains to feel our soul with joy! May we all keep walking on through the hard days, seek the little bits of sunshine that are there, and know that the Lord's promises include happiness!
Katelyn
Saturday, February 4, 2017
"Frankly"
Dear Family and Friends,
It's been a good and busy week! I was blessed to see the Hand of God in my life in many small ways. I feel like I ran into, and was able to visit with many friends I hadn't talked to in months. I was also blessed to be able to hear Elder and Sister Bednar speak as well as Sister Kristen Oaks. I feel like the Lord was really trying to reach out to me and assure me that he really does have my best interest in mind. Sometimes with my limited understanding and sight it's hard to trust things really are for the best, particularly when they cause a lot of anxiety and sadness. Later on down the road I know I'm going to look back on this time and really value what it taught me and how it helped me to grow, but right now I'm just grateful for the little bits of God's hand I see in my life to help me to keep walking when I just want to stop fighting. I'm winning the battle, but the slow pace of healing combined with how much effort it takes, can be discouraging. I am grateful for my Family and Friends and particularly my Heavenly Parents and Savior who love me "Frankly".
My thoughts were turned to the word "Frankly" this week when I read in 1 Nephi 7:20-21, "20 And it came to pass that they were sorrowful, because of their wickedness, insomuch that they did bow down before me, and did plead with me that I would forgive them of the thing that they had done against me. 21 And it came to pass that I did frankly forgive them all that they had done, ...". It really impressed me how Nephi used the word frankly to describe the way in which he forgave his brothers. I looked up the work Frankly in the Oxford English Dictionary to reaffirm it meant what I thought it did, and to be able to see if it had a different meaning at the time the Book of Mormon was written. The definitions have stayed relatively unchanged since it's first use in the 1600s, here are the three I liked best in connection with this verse. 1. Freely; unrestrictedly, without restraint or constraint. 2. In a liberal spirit, generously; unconditionally, unreservedly. 3. Without concealment, disguise, or reserve; avowedly, openly, plainly. Looking at these definitions made me really admire Nephi even more. To have come away from a moment where is brothers are trying to kill him and forgive them "without restraint, unconditionatlly, plainly" really shows how Christ like we need to be! If Nephi can forgive his brother frankly, then I want to be like Nephi and ultimately Christ, who forgives all of us Frankly. Sometimes it's hard to not want to hold forgiveness and love back until the other person "deserves" it. But in reality waiting to forgive or love someone is wasted time, and is not after the example of the Savior. I want to do a better job of doing things more Frankly, particularly when it comes to loving, caring, and forgiving the people I am blessed to have in my life!
Love to you All!
Katelyn
Monday, January 30, 2017
Into not Out of Righteousness
Dear Family and Friends,
Another week marches along in this experience called life. This week was better than last week as it was yet another beautiful reminder of how much God loves me. I am continually amazed by the love I feel around me, particularly from my wonderful family.
This week I have continued to read about the family of Lehi as they journeyed into the wilderness. In 1 Nephi 2:9 Lehi names the river they come to Laman and says to Laman, "O that thou mightest be like unto this river, continually running into the fountain of all righteousness!" The word that really stuck out to me in this was into. When I've heard or read this line before and I've pictured the river, I always though the imagery to be one of the fountain of righteousness feeding the river that is "Laman." Looking now I see I was backwards, so I began to ponder why the river is running into the fountain of all righteousness and not out of. I believe it be illustrating how faithfulness is an active action, not a passive result. When we are faithful our example shows the light of Christ. We are in essence "feeding" the fountain of righteousness that is around us. We are not meant to just receive from the fountain, but to live in it and thus feed it. The things we do have an outward effect on our own life and on the lives of those around us. My hope is that we can all be a little better at not just taking from the fountain of righteousness, but do things to add to it!
Love to you All!
Katie/Katelyn
Another week marches along in this experience called life. This week was better than last week as it was yet another beautiful reminder of how much God loves me. I am continually amazed by the love I feel around me, particularly from my wonderful family.
This week I have continued to read about the family of Lehi as they journeyed into the wilderness. In 1 Nephi 2:9 Lehi names the river they come to Laman and says to Laman, "O that thou mightest be like unto this river, continually running into the fountain of all righteousness!" The word that really stuck out to me in this was into. When I've heard or read this line before and I've pictured the river, I always though the imagery to be one of the fountain of righteousness feeding the river that is "Laman." Looking now I see I was backwards, so I began to ponder why the river is running into the fountain of all righteousness and not out of. I believe it be illustrating how faithfulness is an active action, not a passive result. When we are faithful our example shows the light of Christ. We are in essence "feeding" the fountain of righteousness that is around us. We are not meant to just receive from the fountain, but to live in it and thus feed it. The things we do have an outward effect on our own life and on the lives of those around us. My hope is that we can all be a little better at not just taking from the fountain of righteousness, but do things to add to it!
Love to you All!
Katie/Katelyn
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